dear lil j: happy birthday, my four year old!

Dear Lil J,

Today Yesterday Four days ago you turned four. FOUR!!  Like, how could this be even remotely possible?  It seems like yesterday that I was meeting you for the first time, in awe of how little and real you were.  How I couldn't believe that I grew you for nine months and that you came out of me. And now you are mine

While that last part probably makes me sound like an overprotective, overbearing crazy mother {Daddy's the overprotective one. I'm probably the other two}, I just can't imagine life without you. I can't imagine not feeling the joy I feel every morning when I see your smile and feel your kisses on my cheeks. I wouldn't want to know how quiet the house would be without you stomping up and down the hallway screaming and laughing {as everyone here knows, your laugh is quite infectious}. And as much as I dread the bedtime routine some nights {and the way you love to fight it}, you always have a way of making me happy and making me feel guilty for feeling that way in the first place. Then I just wish you would wake up and cuddle with me just one more time. 

Your birthday was a little emotional for me this year. I kept reminding you all throughout the morning that you were still three until exactly 10:35am. There was no way you were going to be four before that.  Mommy just wasn't ready for it.

At exactly 10:35am, your big sister and I sang Happy Birthday and you were officially minted a four year-old {oh my gosh, I think there's something in my eye...}. 

Then, you were off to preschool to celebrate your special day with your friends and some amazing mini cupcakes from the original Cupcakes. Yummy!  Mommy's pretty jealous because she forgot to get a cupcake for herself.

After school we headed to your favourite mall and saw your much-anticipated movie, Monsters University. It was a cute movie and you loved it.  And of course a trip to the mall wouldn't be complete without a visit to the Disney Store to check out some Monsters University swag!

I wasn't at all prepared for the emotional roller coaster this day brought onto me.  Your past birthdays have been days of celebration, cake and presents, but for some reason, this birthday felt different.  I don't know if it's because you're this much closer to being five - which means kindergarten and big kid school, as well as not needing Mommy all the time.  And then my thoughts started getting carried away and I was fast-forwarding through the years - six, seven, eight, nine.  One day you won't want my kisses anymore and you'll get embarrassed if I hug you in front of your friends.  One day you won't want to hold my hand in public.  One day...yeah, let's not go there.  Let's just live in this moment and enjoy your fourth year - a year of maturity and growth {according to Baby Center}, laughter and more Lil J shenanigans.

To my baby boy who will always be my baby and will always be the light of my life.


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