burnt out

I am currently burning the last flicker of a so-called flame until I'm officially burnt out.  Running on 4 hours sleep is not fun.  Especially when you have a 550 word paper to write summarizing 40 pages.  Yep, not fun.  Oh yeah, and it's due today.

Honestly though, I really can't complain.  It's just that I'm super grumpy when I'm tired.

As noted in my previous post, my husband's grandmother passed away just over a week ago.  And yesterday, we found out that the two kids my mother-in-law adopted five years ago - their mother is in palliative care at the hospital with terminal cancer.  How unbelievably sad is that?  And how selfish of me to complain that I haven't gotten enough sleep.

First my mother-in-law loses her mother to cancer and now a close family friend is nearing the end of her road.  I am so pissed off at the doctors who could have caught both cases at the early stages of the cancer and both would have had a chance of surviving.  Now here we are.  Just sitting here..helpless.  Life really isn't fair.

We'll be visiting our friend in the hospital tonight.  Despite the circumstances, she has maintained her sense of humour.  I feel deeply for her kids who, at almost 12 and 13, are just trying to grasp what is happening to their mother.  Even though their mother was not able to provide for them, they love her deeply and unconditionally.  How do you tell a kid that their mother is about to die?  And for them to witness her in such a horrible state?  My heart aches for them.

I will keep you updated on this unfortunate situation. 

- swank|mama

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