living in reality...

Girl meets guy.  Both fall in love.  Get married.  Have kids.  Live happily ever after.  In a perfect world...right?!

We all wish we were living the fairytale but let's face it - we live in reality.

Which brings me to my dilemma.  I am adamant on having a strict bedtime for my kids with the occasional exception of bending the rules.  With our schedules and the fact that our family is always on the run, it just doesn't seem rational to always have the kids in bed at a certain time.  I understand that.

However, when the hubby lets my 10 year-old step-daughter stay up at all hours of the night, it irks me.  It's now 11:35pm and he's still allowing her to stay awake - usually to watch TV.  Tonight is an exception:  he's making her go through her stuff from her room and get rid of useless things that she doesn't need.  But, as a responsible parent, I would have asked her to go to bed by 10:00pm so that she can get her beauty sleep and be energized for tomorrow.  Not saying that the hubby is not a responsible parent but I do feel I have to set my standards.

When I bring this up to the hubby, he always goes on the defensive and tries to back up his reasoning for allowing her to stay awake until midnight or 1:00am in the morning.  I say that there is no reasoning and that their should be strict bedtime rules.  Otherwise, she may start overstepping her boundaries in the dreaded tween - teenage years.  *shudders*

I also feel like that since I'm the 'step-mother' that I don't always have the authority to tell my step-daughter to go to bed. She always goes to her daddy anyways because she knows she can get away with staying up late. With other things, she does listen to me and people have told me that she does respect me.  So I must be doing something right.  But in reality, I'm actually helping the hubby raise his daughter and we are a family.  We're in this together.

As I am writing this post, I can still hear them talking away.  Like, seriously.

Then they come bursting into my room after I told them not to disturb me.  I need my adult time.  I don't feel like I'm being selfish at all.  In fact, I'd rather be selfish than go crazy in the long run.

Anyways, the hubby also doesn't understand that this is really affecting our relationship.  We don't get any time to ourselves and when we do, we're both to exhausted to scrape our butts off the couch or one of us is already fast asleep in lalaland.  So how's that for a marriage?  Is this really what we signed up for?

Am I overreacting?  Should I take a step back and a deep breath?  Am I stressing over nothing?

All I know is that Lil J will have a strict bedtime and he will (and already does) have a routine.  And if anyone has a problem with that, it's just too bad.

- swank|mama