the journey 2.0: no longer a secret...

When I first started this blog as a way of having a place to write my thoughts about motherhood and track Lil J's milestones, I kept it pretty much a secret from my friends and family.  Possibly because I was worried I may be sharing too much information.  Or maybe because I started blogging about my journey to motherhood #2.

The journey to conceive Lil J was kept a complete, guarded secret between my husband and I.  Nobody knew we were trying or that we had been trying for as long as we did.  According to most baby websites, 10 months was the average it took for couples to conceive.  It didn't always happen right away and, sometimes, wouldn't happen naturally at all.  I remember wanting it so bad and being so disappointed every month when it didn't happen.  Finally, when I stopped stressing about it, a couple months later it actually happened!  And we waited the traditional three months before telling anyone.  I wonder if I'll be that careful the second time around.

I can already say...probably NOT!  I have tipped off a couple of my friends about my (now not-so-secret) blog and Twitter account in hopes that they will enjoy reading my blog and try their luck with my giveaways that I have started doing.  But then I remembered that I have started blogging about my journey to motherhood (2.0) and now that's not much of a secret either!  My own brother was the first out of my family and friends to tell me that he actually reads my blog so I'm totally busted.  He did, though, promise that he wouldn't tell mom or dad.  Hopefully.

So basically what I'm trying to say is that my second journey to motherhood probably won't be much of a secret.  I'm not going to yell from rooftops but I will continue to blog about it and my friends and family brother will get the inside scoop.  And this journey will no longer remain a secret as my first journey was.

dear lil j: daddy, daddy, DADDY!!

To my (no longer) baby (who thinks he's a big kid now),

Last night as I was going through our normal routine of reading bedtime stories - well, now you actually read me bedtime stores - and a big (sippy) cup of milk, we were getting ready to go to bed when all of a sudden you broke out into tears and kept saying, or should say screaming, "DADDY, DADDY, DADDY!!".  For some odd, strange reason, you only wanted Daddy.  What ever happened to just being a mama's boy?  I like that very much.

And so only Daddy could put you down to bed last night.  At around 12:30am!!  I woke you up this morning at 7:20am and you were wide awake and in such a good mood.  I was all ready for Lil J Cranky Pants!  Go figure.

I forgive you for not being a mama's boy last night and I still love you forever and ever.

Love,
Mommy

swank|deal: B. Toys

B. Toys has a coupon for $3.00 off a purchase of any B. toy priced $19.99 or higher at Target.  B. offers a variety of fun toys for your babies, toddlers and tykes that are visually stimulating.  My favourite part about a B. toy is that most of them come with a box that wraps itself!  No more rushing around for that last minute wrapping paper and card for the birthday babe - just flip the packaging around and voila!

Head on over to B. and get the coupon here.

Happy shopping!

PS:  B. will be offering a coupon for Canadian customers in the near future.  Stay tuned!

thankful

In a split second, everything can change.  That was the reality that hit our family yesterday.  We have been through a couple of rough months with the deaths of close family members in my husband's family and, I too, also had a close call that could have resulted in injuries.

The deaths we experienced were prepared for - somewhat.  We knew it was going to happen..it was only a matter of when.  Yesterday, though, took us all by surprise.  It started out with a phone call my husband received:

My husband, Lil J and I were visiting another couple and their son yesterday afternoon.  We had just arrived at their house and were on our way to a Greek festival when my husband received a phone call from his little brother:  a car had just hit their mom's car just as mom (as we all call her) was about to open her door and step out of the car.  A split second later and the results could have been devastating.

The car door had been completely torn off and the woman who hit mom's car tried to drive off.  Luckily, there were a number of witnesses and the driver actually admitted that she swerved into mom's car.  When I learned of the potential severity of the situation, I was in shock myself.  My husband left right away to be by mom's side and couldn't even remember the drive back.  My sister-in-law came over to mom's house and went on a cleaning rampage and then left.  It's amazing how such a shocking situation can affect people differently.
I laid in bed last night watching Lil J sleeping.  I tried to just soak in the moment, reminding myself that I'll never get them back and that every day Lil J is growing up.  I'm trying to enjoy these moments but it's so hard to get caught up in the daily chaos that surrounds our lives.  I am just thankful that everyone around me is healthy and well and that I am able to spend time with them.  I know I'm getting all sappy but I think it's good to reassess life once in a while and try to not take everything in life for granted.

Lil J is 2!!

A little bit late in posting this but Lil J just can't believe he turned 2 today:

To my little (now bigger) man:  Mommy loves you so much and is so proud of you.  She still can't believe her baby is 2 and no longer a baby.  You have your own mind now and know exactly what you want.  We had a fantastic, and super busy, day today (Mommy took the day off)!  You went to the mall to shop, out for lunch with Daddy, to gymnastics class where you were a tyrant but in a good way, to the doctor's office for a check-up, back to the mall, and out to dinner with Mommy and Daddy.  Unfortunately, your sister was at her mom's house for the weekend but she did get to wish you a very Happy Birthday in the morning and gave you lots of hugs and kisses.

We had so much fun and now that you're a year older, we can't wait to see the next milestone you'll achieve.

Happy 2nd Birthday my little man!!

Love you so, so much,
Mommy

the end of "months"

 
Before I had Lil J it would drive me mad whenever someone responded with "he's 17 months" instead of "he's 1 year and 5 months" whenever I asked how old their baby/toddler was.  I didn't understand why people liked to respond in months.  In fact, I still don't.  And I respond in "months" too.

I remember I would just stand there trying to calculate what 17 months meant in terms of years.  It's simple math but for a person who is not yet a parent or is not around children, it's like trying to figure out brain surgery!  So why did I carry on this practice?  Because it's amusing to me to see people look puzzled and try to figure out how old Lil J is when I respond in "months".

I know.  I'm devious.

But as it turns out, the closer Lil J gets to his 2nd birthday, the more I tend to forget how many "months" he is.  All I can remember is that he is almost two and all I can think about is his upcoming birthday party.

My baby is going to be TWO!!  Time flies...so fast.  Where did these first two years go?  I miss him being so small, yet he is still so small.  I miss his little cries, yet love when his big cries turn into hugs and kisses.  I miss his little diapers, yet I cannot wait until he is fully potty trained.  There are so many things Lil J did as a baby that I will miss but there are so many things to look forward to.  I can't wait!

identity crisis

I am going to rant about something that has bothered me for a very long time.

I realize that Lil J does not look like me.  His father is Jamaican and I am Chinese.  Despite my wishes for him to have distinct 'asian eyes', he has bright, wide eyes just like my husband and myself.  I was just hoping that he would have a feature so that people would know right away that I was his mom.  I AM his mother after all.

Today, like it has happened so many times before, a salesperson at a department store asked me, 'Is that your son?'.  Not once, not twice, but three times.  Come on!  Do you really think I kidnapped the kid?  Of course he is my son!!

Okay, in all fairness the salesperson today saw Lil J with my husband and mother-in-law first.  I was busy browsing the rest of the store and had found them at the sales desk.  I instantly engaged in a conversation with both my husband and mother-in-law.  Then I stood there waiting for the salesperson to ring our purchase in.  All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, 'Are you with them?'.  I said no.  I was tired, hungry and just plain annoyed at stupidity.  Maybe I was being ignorant but I was all over people being ignorant to me.  And then afterwards, she asked me the dumb question.  Was Lil J my son?  How do I say yes without being offended?

The funny thing is, when I'm out with Miss S, people always refer to her as my daughter.  And trust me when I say this - she looks nothing like me.  Shes half Jamaican, half Russian!  So I gotta say.....

Are people fricken blind??!

baby talk

If you have ever tried to converse with a toddler, you probably know that you won't understand 80% of what they say.  Most of the times you'll turn to the mother or father and even they will shake their heads and shrug their shoulders indicating that they have no idea what their child is saying.

Lil J has funny ways of 'conversing' with us.  Half the time he carries on a conversation on his own by speaking gibberish and we just stand there and smile and nod our heads.

Here are a few common words he uses:

• No = "Nnnnnooh" (very defiantly)
• Mama = "Mama, Mamoo, Mommy"
• Daddy = "Dada, Daddy, Babe"
• Grandma Cross = "Ma"
• Grandpa Chow = "Gong Gong, Honey"
• Grandma Chow = "Po Po"
• Bus = "Bah"
• Car = "Cah, Cah-are"
• Bye = "Buh bye"
• Baby = "Beh bah"
• Bellybutton = "Buh beh"
• Train = "Truh, Choo Choo"
• Ball = "Ball"
• Cat = "Cah"
• Dog = "Doggie, Woof Woof"
• Girl = "Guh"
• Goodnight = "Nie nie"

And my favourite:

• Love you = "Luh u"

He also knows how to count to 10 by himself and to 20 with help.  He knows the alphabet, which he says half the letters in an English accent.  And he has a picture book that he can 'read' by looking at the pictures.

I'm such a proud mama!

dear lil j: conversationalist

To My Prince,

Today I had the best conversation with you over the phone.  I had no idea what you were saying but by the end of it, you said 'love you' and 'buh bye'.  You melted Mommy's heart a million times over and almost made me cry (I'm tearing up again writing this post).

You were also beating up your Uncle JJ and you accidentally punched Grandma in the face but all I heard in the background was laughter and smiles.  My darling prince, you sure do know how to brighten up even the sunniest days.

Love,
Mommy

raising our kids right...

An incident occurred while I was in the McDonald's lineup (yes, I'm guilty!) a few minutes ago and it struck me as completely ignorant.  A guy (I definitely cannot call him a gentleman) in his early 20's made a stink about a woman in her 90's because he thought she was trying to budge in line, in front of him.  I just stood there in awe and wondered why he couldn't have just let her in front of him.  She was frail looking but able to walk on her own.  Do people have no shame?

I realize now that I should have spoken up and said something.  I've seen elderly people sometimes use their age as an advantage from time to time and that sometimes ticks me off but if they're nice about it, I will give them a pass.  Even if they're not nice, I probably would too.  But this guy had some nerve to say, 'Well, I was next but she budged in front of me', and then proceed to order his food instead of just letting the poor woman go in front of him.  His chivalry completely died?

The reason this affected me so much is that I think about Lil J when he's that old.  Would he do the same thing?  Would he have let the old woman go ahead of him?  I would hope the answer would be the latter.  If not, I would feel I had failed him as a mother.  My husband and I want to raise him the 'old school' way so that he understands to respect his elders, opens doors for girls and women (and hopefully stands up when a woman enters the door - but that's probably pushing it), offers a seat for women and his elders, etc., etc.  I don't want him to fall into the cracks of his generation.  I see a lot of parents demonstrating a more relaxed approach with their kids and half the time they have no control over their kids.  Not to say my husband and I are super strict (we have been told we are super relaxed!) but we do have control over our kids so far.  Lil J is always testing us but as long as you 'nip it in the butt' right away, kids will learn right from wrong.

Of course, these are just my opinions and views on how we're trying to raise Lil J and Miss S and I'm not trying to say that everyone should raise their kids that way.  I just hope my kids don't turn out like that 20-something guy in the McDonald's line....

tonight was a good night...

This evening I spent most of my night prepping for Lil J's birthday party this coming Sunday.  My little baby is going to be 2!  I can't believe how fast time has gone by.  It only feels like yesterday that I was in the hospital seeing his sweet face for the first time.  Now, two years later, I am baking up a storm like a madwoman and making sure everything is absolutely perfect.

Well as perfect as a two-year-old's birthday can be.

I came home and Lil J was sleeping in bed at my mother-in-law's.  It was around 6:00pm and way too late for him to be 'napping' so I went to wake him up only to fall asleep right beside him for another hour.  We woke up at 7:00pm!!  Napping never felt so good especially when your little one is cuddling right beside you.

Then I raced up to Staples to get my proofs - one for Father's Day and one for Jadon's birthday.  I found this cute little Etsy store called PERSONALIZEDprints via Lil Sugar and they had the cutest DIY child's handprint tree for only $10!  I browsed the rest of the store and got an idea to use a DIY wedding tree finger print guest registry print as a memory item for Lil J's birthday party.  Every guest at the party will sign their name on the tree beside their thumb print.  Last year I had a picture frame and everyone signed a birthday wish on the huge matte surrounding a picture of Lil J.  I think it's a neat concept to have a memory item for each birthday.  I wonder how many more years I'll keep that up......

After I got home the second time, I was anxious to get started on my baking.  But of course, Lil J was cranky and he only wanted Mommy.  I love that he's a mama's boy :)

My husband ended up putting him to sleep (and going to sleep himself) and Miss S and I got started on the sugar cookies.  I wish I had pictures but things were just getting too messy.  We cut out the cookies in the shape of trains to keep with the vintage train theme.  I also made marshmallow fondant for the first time and coloured portions of it.  It has to chill overnight but I will be attempting to put the fondant layer on the cookies tomorrow morning.  Or I should say this morning since it's 3:12 am.

I know.  I'm a #crazymom!

I also finished up a 'goody bag' display of red bandannas.  I forfeited the normal goody bags this year in favour of things that went with the party theme and things that  I think kids may use again.  They probably won't but at least they won't have a bunch of mini $1 store floating around for years to come. 

Okay, I really need to hit the hay now.  Starting to fall asleep at the computer....

miss s saves the {night}

Last night I thought we were hitting another milestone, getting past another phase.  I put Lil J in his crib - he was drowsy and had been fighting sleep for the past hour while I was trying to get him to sleep in our bed.  I heard him scream a bit as I left the room and fought the urge to turn around and pick him right back up.  He needs to break out of the habit of falling asleep in our bed.  It's a nightly occurrence that started roughly over two months ago.  And I'm so over it.

Mainly because I work full-time and I have a million things to do in the evenings.  I don't mind lying down with Lil J but if it takes more than an hour, I give up and  put him in his crib so that he can practice how strong his lungs are.  I know, I'm evil.

Getting back to what I thought was another milestone - another success - I was checking my emails on my laptop in my room and I heard Lil J stop crying.  Silence.  Yay, I thought to myself.  He  put himself to sleep!  Lil J is back to normal!

Little did I know, Miss S had a little something to do with that.  This morning she came into our room and proudly announced that she had put Lil J to sleep.  She said she couldn't fathom his screaming and that it was breaking her heart so she went into his room and stroked his back.  A few seconds later, Lil J was out cold!  She was incredibly proud of herself as was I.  I congratulated her on being such a great big sister and she was beaming from ear to ear.

What a nice way to start my Friday morning!

swank|review & giveaway: HappyCrawlers Leg Warmers

UPDATE: Congratulations to Christina Brundick!!  She won 3 pairs of HappyCrawlers leg warmers of her choice!


I'm the type of mom that does extensive research for anything I buy for my kids - especially Lil J.  Miss S is much older so I mostly put my trust in the kids clothing stores that they will have exactly what she wants.  But for Lil J, there is so much variety - enough to make a mom go mad!


Which is why I was happy when a cute little company came to me!  I didn't have to do any research.  I didn't have to spend hours looking for the perfect one.  HappyCrawlers contacted me!

Well, it was sort of a fluke.  Desi, the owner of HappyCrawlers, tweeted me on Twitter and we just sort of started connecting through the Twitterverse.  I checked out her website and was pleasantly surprised to see a variety of the cutest leg warmers for my Lil J.  And I was so happy to see that they are also universal - meaning they fit older kids and even adults.  Miss S would be so excited!

HappyCrawlers leg warmers are a wonderful addition to any baby or toddler's wardrobe - especially when babies start crawling.  They help protect their knees from hard floors and prevent them from chafting.  Plus they are super stylish and come in many different colours and designs.  Older kids can wear them to make a cool fashion statement.

I was generously sent two pairs of Happy Rainbows (one for Lil J and one for Miss S) and Areas of Argyle (for Lil J) to review.  They are very, very soft with lots of room to grow and stay up, protecting Lil J's knees.  Both kids couldn't wait to put them on for our impromptu photo shoot!

Here are Lil J and Miss S monkeying around:

All of HappyCrawlers leg warmers are made of a high quality blend of cotton, polyester and spandex.  As I said earlier, they are super soft to the touch so I have no doubt that they are comfortable for my Lil J.  He didn't want to take them off and he's usually picky about what I dress him in.  For a 2 year old, it's hard to imagine but that's my Lil J.

Here's another shot of the kids:

And another:

Miss S even found a new way to wear her leg warmers:

And here is Areas of Argyle:

HappyCrawlers has generously agreed to offer my readers a special discount code until June 30, 2011.  Enter the code SWANKMAMA at checkout for 10% off your minimum order of $10.00 (the price of one HappyCrawlers leg warmer).  The discount code is not valid on gift certificate purchases.

How to win!!

The mandatory entry must be done first before any other entries will be considered.  Please leave a comment below with your email for each entry.  If we cannot verify your email address, another winner will be chosen.  Winner will be picked via random.org.

MANDATORY 1st Entry

Go to HappyCrawler’s website and tell me what your favourite style leg warmers are!

Extra Entries

• “Like” SwankMama on Facebook (1 entry)

• “Like” HappyCrawlers’ on Facebook and leave a comment with a tag to SwankMama telling them that SwankMama sent you (1 entry)

• Follow SwankMama on Twitter (1 entry)

• Follow HappyCrawlers on Twitter (1 entry)

• Tweet (up to 3x a day, 2 hours apart) “Enter to win 3 pairs of @HappyCrawlers leg warmers of your choice from @SwankMama http://bit.ly/jgDWYX #giveaway #contest #happycrawlers" (1 entry each, up to 3 entries per day)

• Follow SwankMama via GFC (Google Friend Connect) and be sure to leave your user name in your comment (2 entries)

• Comment on the SwankMama blog post at http://happycrawlers.blogspot.com/ (1 entry)

You can enter this contest until June 26, 2011 at 9:00pm PST.  You must respond by email within 48 hours of being notified by us.  If you do not respond within 48 hours, another winner will be chosen.  This giveaway is open to all US/Canadian residents over the age of 18 years old.

swank|review & giveaway: Salt Spring Coffee Co.

UPDATED 6/28:  The winner of the 3-month subscription from Salt Spring Coffee Co is Andrea Firmani!!  Congratulations Andrea!

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Ok.  I am so not a morning person.  I need my coffee first thing in the morning.  And I'm not talking any kind of coffee.  It has to be dark and strong.  It has to have that zing! so I can actually wake up.  Because, as you moms all know, babies and toddlers often have the tendency to want to play in the middle of the night.  Enough said.

So when I received a tweet from local BC company Salt Spring Coffee Co. advising that they wanted to send me a package, I immediately replied, ‘Yes!  Please do!!”.  I didn’t even think twice about giving them my information – I just needed that coffee.  And who doesn't want freshly roasted, organic coffee sourced from the highest quality, most favourable and equitable coffee growing regions in the world?!  Boy, was I ever in for a nice surprise.

After a long and tiring day of work, I came home to this big package waiting for me at my doorstep:

Inside was this:

Absolutely perfect since I was about to retire my old coffee mug and get a new one from Starbucks.  Glad I didn’t because I’d much rather be walking around with one from Salt Spring Coffee Co. that actually closes properly.  Plus I like to be unique.  And special.

And special this coffee is.  The coffee was a Nicaragua French (Very Dark) Roast blend that came in a package of whole beans so I had to hunt for our coffee grinder that I didn’t even know we had, and have never used, since I am so used to making espresso in the mornings.  I ground some up and put two and a half scoops into our French press which can be found at Ikea and poured water about 1/3 full and let the coffee mixture steep for about five minutes before I pressed the lid down:

I would recommend using your descretion as to how much coffee/water to use depeding on your desired taste and number of cups you wish to have.

On the package, the coffee flavour is described as bittersweet, roasty and smoky.  For me, the coffee itself is very smooth and not too bold, which is very appealing to most coffee drinkers.  Even though I prefer my coffee really strong, this was perfect.  I drank it black – no sugar, no milk/cream – and I could say that it is comparable to Blue Mountain Coffee from Jamaica (for those of you who don’t know, Blue Mountain is one of the smoothest tasting coffee I’ve ever had.).

The thing I admire about Salt Spring Coffee Co. is that they always consider the impact of their operations on the environment, which is why they recently converted their Viking Roasting Facility (in Richmond, BC) to green energy.  Their new facility is fully fueled by green electricity and green natural gas.  You can read more here about their choice to convert their facility.

Salt Spring Coffee Co. as generously offered to give one of my Canadian readers a 3-month coffee subscription (value $110.00 CND).  The subscription service ensures that you receive Salt Spring coffee, perfectly timed and freshly roasted right at the peak of its harvest season. They'll also include a note with each of your deliveries detailing the specifics of the brew.

How to Enter:

The mandatory entry must be done first before any other entries will be considered.  Please leave a comment below with your email for each entry.  If we cannot verify your email address, another winner will be chosen.  Winner will be picked via random.org.

MANDATORY 1st Entry

Go to Salt Spring Coffee Co's website and tell me which coffee you would choose!

Extra Entries

• Follow Salt Spring Coffee Co. on Twitter (1 entry) 
• Follow SwankMama on Twitter (1 entry)
• "Like" Salt Spring Coffee on Facebook (1 entry)
• “Like” SwankMama on Facebook (1 entry)
• Tweet (up to 3x a day, 2 hours apart) “Enter to win a 3-month coffee subscription from @SS_Coffee & @SwankMama (http://bit.ly/maVnXn) #giveaway #contest #swankreview (1 entry each, up to 3 entries per day / 2 hours apart)
• Subscribe to Salt Spring Coffee's newsletter for special offers, exclusive products, contests and news (2 entries)
• Follow SwankMama via GFC (Google Friend Connect) on the right-hand column of our blog and be sure to leave your user name in your comment (2 entries)

You can enter this contest until June 27, 2011 at 9:00pm PST.  You must respond by email within 48 hours of being notified by us.  If you do not respond within 48 hours, another winner will be chosen.  This giveaway is open to Canadian residents over the age of 18 years old.

The views expressed in this review are my own and do not represent the opinions or views of Salt Spring Coffee Co.

in a flash

The other day I was driving to my sister-in-law's house with my husband's cousin the front seat and Miss S, Lil J and my little brother-in-law (okay, he's not really little - he's 6'3" and growing) in the back seat.  I noticed that there was a ghost car beside me so I made sure I was going the speed limit.  All of a sudden, rain started pouring down - almost like a torrential downpour - just as I started driving down a little hill when all of a sudden, in a flash, a car darted out into our lane and all I saw was two cars veering into my lane.  I had to slam on my brakes and my tires were just skidding because of the hill and the slick roads.  All the while, I'm trying to avoid the curb and the car beside me which was swerving into my car.  Luckily we were fine but the car just ahead of us ended up hitting the idiot that thought it would be a bright idea to turn left into oncoming traffic.  Damn Vancouver drivers!

My heart was beating so fast and I was slightly shaking after that incident.  We had come so close to an accident and all I could think about was how thankful I was that the kids were unharmed in the backseat.  If the person behind us wasn't paying attention, we could have easily been rear-ended.  Just in an instant.  In a flash.

It gets me thinking about how life is so precious.  The next day we attended a funeral for our niece and nephew's mother who died of cancer at the age of 34.  So young.  It was our second funeral in less than a month for two wonderful women who succumbed to the same illness and whom were related to my husband's family.

Life. Is. So. Precious.

Today...just take a second to reflect on your life and your loved ones.  Try not to take everything and everyone around you for granted.  Be thankful for what you have.  Because you never know when everything will be taken away from you.